Stupid Bar

On March 20, a ravioli and a spring flower bounce into a bar.
The bartender says, “What brings you two here?”
The ravioli puffs up, “It’s National Ravioli Day—I’m stuffed with excitement!”
The spring flower chirps, “And it’s the First Day of Spring—I’m blooming ready to party!”
The bartender smirks, “Well, don’t get saucy or wilt—this bar’s just heating up!”

On March 19, a chicken and a chocolate caramel strut into a bar.
The bartender says, “What brings you two here?”
The chicken clucks, “It’s National Poultry Day—I’m here to wing it!”
The chocolate caramel oozes, “And it’s National Chocolate Caramel Day—I’m here to stick around!”
The bartender chuckles, “Well, don’t cross the road or melt on my counter—this bar’s clucking sweet enough!”

On March 18, a sloppy joe and an awkward moment shuffle into a bar.
The bartender says, “What brings you two here?”
The sloppy joe drips, “It’s National Sloppy Joe Day—I’m here to make a mess!”
The awkward moment stammers, “Uh, it’s, um, National Awkward Moments Day—I, uh, tripped over my own punchline!”
The bartender grins, “Well, clean yourselves up—this bar’s messy enough already!”

On March 17, a shamrock and a plate of corned beef and cabbage waltz into a bar.
The bartender says, “What brings you two here?”
The shamrock replies, “It’s St. Patrick’s Day—I’m here to get lucky!”
The corned beef and cabbage adds, “And I’m here to meat some new friends!”
The bartender laughs, “Well, don’t get too green—save some luck for the rest of us!”

On March 14, a potato chip and a slice of pie stumble into a bar.
The bartender says, “What brings you two here?”
The potato chip crunches, “It’s National Potato Chip Day—I’m here to get salty!”
The pie chimes in, “And it’s National Pi Day—I’m 3.14 times more delicious!”
The bartender smirks, “Well, don’t sleep on the tab—it’s World Sleep Day, and I’m not dozing off on your bill!”

On March 13, a jewel and a coconut torte stumble into a bar.
The bartender says, “What brings you two here?”
The jewel sparkles, “It’s National Jewel Day—I’m here to shine bright!”
The coconut torte adds, “And it’s National Coconut Torte Day—I’m just here to flake out!”
The bartender grins, “Well, don’t start a bonfire—Holika Dahan’s already got that covered tonight!”

On March 12, a daisy and a Girl Scout walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “What brings you two here?”
The daisy replies, “It’s National Plant a Flower Day—I’m here to petal the drinks!”
The Girl Scout adds, “And it’s National Girl Scout Day—I’m selling cookies to pair with the booze!”
The bartender chuckles, “Well, plant yourselves at a table, but don’t smoke the profits!”

On March 11, Johnny Appleseed and a computer walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “What brings you two here?”
Johnny Appleseed replies, “It’s Johnny Appleseed Day—I’m here to plant some good times!”
The computer adds, “And it’s the International Day for Digital Learning—I’m here to boot up some knowledge!”
The bartender laughs, “Well, let’s branch out and program a night to remember!”

On March 10th, Mario from the video game walks into a bar with Harriet Tubman.
The bartender says, “What’s with the duo?”
Mario grins, “It’s National Mario Day—I’m jumping in to save the day!”
Harriet adds, “And it’s my day too—I’m here to lead the drinks to freedom!”
The bartender smirks, “Well, just don’t spike the punch—it’s also Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, so let’s keep it safe!”

On March 7th, a box of cereal walks into a bar and sits next to Alexander Graham Bell.
The bartender asks, “What’s with the crunching noise?”
The cereal says, “It’s National Cereal Day—I’m just trying to bowl over the crowd!”
Bell picks up his old telephone and grumbles, “Well, it’s my day too, and all this racket is making it hard to be heard!”
The bartender laughs, “Looks like you two need to call a truce—or at least share a spoon!”